


don’t let go, give me light

by charleia



Category: American Horror Story, American Horror Story: Apocalypse, American Horror Story: Coven
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:15:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26121778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charleia/pseuds/charleia
Summary: One year after Misty and Cordelia break up, they run into one another, and an old flame is rekindled.  sort of.
Relationships: Misty Day/Cordelia Foxx | Cordelia Goode
Comments: 5
Kudos: 52





	don’t let go, give me light

**Author's Note:**

> this one’s for lily nation ily marthalicious

It is often said that, once you utilise the entire bed as opposed to just your own assigned side, you will have finally  _ fully _ moved on from your ex partner. 

Yet after months, Cordelia still only slept on the left side, whereas the right remained untouched, made up pristinely by one of the maids. Often, when aurora arose, bringing forth a new day, Cordelia’s hand would reach out to caress Misty’s back, drag her fingers through her hair; just a soft gesture to let her know that she was awake. She would always revel in the way Misty would murmur a soft  _ I’m up _ before sleepily kissing her. Now, her heart would wrench painfully when her hand was met with a cold nothingness. 

It wasn’t as if she wasn’t trying. She had been. Coco had tried to set her up with numerous friends. Lovely girls, for sure, but none of them like Misty. She hadn’t seen her in months. She still remembers the day she left, almost as if it were yesterday. 

She remembers the fierceness in her cold blue eyes that had once looked at her so fondly and so full of love. She remembers the audible crack in Misty’s voice when she said that she would leave. She should have stopped her. She should have grabbed her by the arm and pulled her close, they weren’t supposed to be fighting. Sure, they might have been going through a rough patch, little quarrels here and there, occasional bigger fights that resulted in Misty angrily leaving to stay at her shack in the swamps. Oftentimes it would only take a couple of hours before Cordelia would go after her to talk it out and make amends. Neither was very fond of sleeping without the other any way. 

So sure, things hadn’t been easy, but with all the stress of being the Supreme, all the heartache that came with the aftermath of Misty’s trip to the Netherworld, that wasn’t necessarily unusual. Her heart wrenches painfully as she recalls her own cruel words,  _ fine  _ she had yelled,  _ leave, then.. I don’t want to do this anymore, I just can’t fight for us anymore. _

Cordelia had pushed her away when she should have kept her closer than ever. It was Misty who understood her, what they had been through, it was Misty who had loved her like no other in spite of her flaws, it was Misty who she should have protected against the darkness. But that last time, she didn’t go after her. Instead, she had let her go. And not a day goes by that she does not regret that with every fibre of her being, because Misty never returned either.

  
  


Exactly one year had passed since Misty left. Not that Cordelia had been keeping count. None of the other witches had heard from her either, except Zoe. Occasionally, they would text one another, and sometimes Zoe would give her updates but the last couple of weeks she had been eerily quiet when it came to talking about Misty.

Coco, who had anticipated that today would have been difficult for Cordelia, had waited for her after her last class of the day, dragged her into her car and had driven her to one of the small yet fancy little bakery with candy cane pink and white awnings and golden calligraphed letters on the window. 

She was about to lift her cup to her lips when she heard it. An all too familiar sound that used to make her heart burst with joy. A ringing, bubbling laughter belonging to no other than her former loved one, Misty Day. She didn’t even need to look up to know for sure. 

Coco, who didn’t seem to notice neither Misty nor the change in Cordelia’s demeanor, animatedly chatted on. “And so I told that bitch that I wasn’t going to let that happen so I called my dad, who called her dad- they’re golf mates- and I-” Coco had fallen silent as two figures approached.

“Hey,” Misty’s voice was soft, tentative, reserved almost, without her quintessential warmth. Still, she managed a small smile.

“Misty-” Cordelia stood up, knocking her knee against the table in the process. She winced, rubbing her leg with a blush on her cheeks. “Hey,” she breathed. 

For a second, neither moved, until the woman beside Misty broke the silence. “Hey! I’m Eleanor!” she said, holding out her hand. “You’re Cordelia Goode, right? I saw you on the news. You’re very brave.”

Cordelia smiled weakly at the woman. “Thank you. Pleasure to meet you,” she said.

“It’s good to see you, Delia,” Misty said, “Truly.”

Nodding slowly, Cordelia’s eyes drifted down to their joint hands and her throat felt dry. She swallowed thickly. “It’s good to see you too” she said, as she regained her footing. “Would you guys like to- ehm.. Sit with us?”

Misty looked at Eleanor “Ehm… You know, we would love that but we really need to get going.” she said. She rested her hand on Cordelia’s shoulder briefly. “But it’d like to catch up soon,” she said. “Hold on- Elle, babe, could you-?” She handed her coffee cup to Eleanor and began to dig through her purse, fabricating a pen and a notebook. Quickly, she scribbled down her data.  “Here,” she said. “I live nearby, give me a call some time.” Misty gave a brief, small smile, and before Cordelia could even begin to form a response, she had left.

  
  


Cordelia had not said much on the way home. Coco meanwhile kept on chattering excitedly, about the most random things. She didn’t really expect Cordelia to answer and that’s perhaps why she liked her so much. Coco allowed her to just  _ be. _

As they pulled into the driveway, Coco let out a sigh. “You know, when you’re ready to talk about the elephant in the room, I’m here for you, Delia.” she said, “You think I believe you when you pretend like seeing her means nothing to you?”

Shrugging, Cordelia crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Does it matter? You saw it. She’s with someone else now.”

“True,” Coco said, “But I could see that there was still so much love for you. Trust me, she just didn’t know how to express it.”

Cordelia let out a short laugh. “Why are you so serious all of the sudden, the fun part of going out with you is usually not having to think about serious things.”

Coco smiled. “Because I care about you. I want you to be happy. I’ll support you either way, if you want to go and see her, I support that. If you want to get wasted tonight, I will  _ definitely _ support that.”

“Why would I go and see her?” Cordelia asked, “I don’t think she wants anything to do with me. You saw how she practically leapt out of the shop.”

Coco shrugged. “Think about it.” she said, as she loosened her seatbelt to get out of the car. “Let me know what you decide. 

  
  


Cordelia paced her room. Coco’s words had really stuck with her. It was true, from the moment she saw Misty again, she had longed to talk to her again, to really properly talk about what had happened between them. Still— Misty was with someone else now. Getting between Misty and her happiness was the last thing she wanted to do. 

Still, it was driving her nuts. Surely, talking things out wouldn’t be a problem, right? Surely— No, if Cordelia would be going, she would be expecting to be rejected. Something that she most definitely couldn’t handle, especially not from Misty. 

But what if Misty felt the same way? 

Even if she did, she was still with someone else. She still belonged to Eleanor. Misty had moved on. Maybe it was time to stop living in the past. Right, it was time to let go, to start living in the present. 

And yet. 

Cordelia looked outside, dark clouds had begun to form in the sky. She wagered that soon, it’d be too late to go to Misty’s. She sighed and left her room. She wandered the pristine corridors of Robichaux’s and knocked on the door of Coco’s room. 

“What’s the verdict?” Coco asked. 

“Let’s get wasted.”

Coco scanned her with a semi-smile. “Hmm. Is that what you want?”

“For sure.”

“No it’s not, you useless lesbian you want to go to Misty.”

“And?”

“Then fucking do it. Go for it.”

Cordelia sighed exasperatedly. “Excuse me I thought you said you’d support me either way?”

“I lied. Now go before I lock you out.”

Outside, the rain had started. Not a soul would dare to go out. Still, Cordelia found herself doing just that, only to see Misty. By the time she arrived at her place, she was soaked to the bone. She lifted a trembling hand and knocked on the door, but no answer came.

Suddenly, a voice from behind her called, “Delia what on earth are you doing here?” Misty stood behind her, holding a floral umbrella. 

“Hey,” Cordelia said, “I just- wanted to see you again,”

“Are you crazy?” Misty rushed to Cordelia. “Are you  _ trying _ to get sick?” She quickly opened her front door and ushered Cordelia inside. “Get in, you, crazy person,” she said. “Let me get you something dry or at least a towel.”

A short while later, Cordelia was sat on Misty’s sofa, hands curled around a steaming cup of tea. 

“So…” Misty said, “you wanted to… See me?” she asked. “Why? It’s been so long, you never tried to contact me so why did you feel the need to walk through a hose just to  _ see  _ me?”

“I- don’t really know,” Cordelia said.

For a moment, Misty was quiet. She just said there, arms crossed in front of her chest. “Why are you here, Cordelia? I mean- You and I are broken up.”

Cordelia nodded, “I’m aware,” she said, “I just- I don’t even know. You gave me your address?”

“I didn’t think you’d do anything with it. I didn’t think you’d want anything to do with me.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

Misty raised an eyebrow. “Does it need saying?” she said, perhaps a tad too harshly than intended. “It’s been a year, Dee, and you were the one who called it quits.”

“I know and-”

“Okay, and? You regret it now?”

Misty’s fierceness took her aback. “Maybe I should leave,” she said eventually as she began to make her way out but Misty grabbed her by the wrist.

“No you’re not going to do this to me. You come here because you want to see me, and you look at me with that look in your eyes- I know that look Cordelia.” Misty sighed exasperatedly, “You can’t just waltz back into my life after I spent so long trying to rebuild what was broken only for you to leave again.”

“I-” Cordelia swallowed the lump in her throat. “I shouldn’t have come. It was a mistake.”

“Delia…” Misty’s eyes bore into Cordelia’s. “You came here for a reason. I need to hear you say it.” She raised her hand, gingerly wiping the wet strands of hair from her face. “Hm?” she leaned in a little closer and Cordelia found herself leaning in as well, noses mere inches away from one another. Cordelia closed her eyes momentarily. With a soft sigh she turned away. “You’re with Eleanor,” she whispered, “You moved on. It’s about time I do too.”

  
  
  


Rain trickled against the windows of the green house. Cordelia had thrown herself into brewing her newest concoction. Anything to distract herself. Anything to not think of Misty. Her hands hovered above the various plants and herbs but she couldn’t seem to concentrate. With a sigh, she set her pestle and mortar down. She closed her eyes, sunken deep into her thoughts, palms pressed against the tabletop. How she wished she could turn back time. She was the most powerful witch on earth, but without Misty she felt weaker than ever before. Without Misty by her side, her powers meant nothing.

A sharp knock on the window broke her from her reverie. She looked up to see Misty standing in front of the doors of the greenhouse. “Could you let me in?” she called out.

Cordelia rushed to the door and opened it. “What are you doing here?” she asked, as Misty brushed past her. “I thought we were done talking?”

“We aren’t,” Misty said coldly. “Cordelia, when we broke up, I was devastated. It was never my choice to separate. I needed you. I was suffering, we needed each other and you just decided to… To stop fighting for us. Was it really worth that little?”

“Mist-”

“I’m not done,” Misty interrupted. “I waited for you, you know. We hadn’t slept separately in ages and I was terrified, you know how bad the nightmares were and how I couldn’t sleep without you. You abandoned me. Do you know that I waited for you to come back to me? I waited for days, I kept expecting you to come to me after all and you never did so yeah, I did what I had to do. I moved on. You cannot blame me for that. I did what I had to do to survive.”

Cordelia had averted her gaze, crossing her arms in front of her chest and staring at the tips of her toes. She didn’t dare to speak.

“Things were going  _ fine _ for me Cordelia. I was happy with Elle, we were doing just fine until you showed up at my house just to slap me with the realisation of how much I still am not over you. And now Elle is gone and you’re gone and I’ve lost everyone.” Tears had begun to trickle down Misty’s cheeks. “You cannot just do this. You come to me, you break down all my defenses and then you leave again. You’ve hurt me, Cordelia. I just need you to know how much you have hurt me.”

“So you came all the way to tell me that?” Cordelia asked calmly. “That I am a horrible person, how badly you have suffered solely because of me. Alright, then Misty, was that all?”

Misty scoffed and rolled her eyes in disbelief, “You know what, fuck you, Dee.” She turned around, marching towards the greenhouse exit, storming out into the rain.

It took all of three seconds for Cordelia to realise her mistake.

“Misty!” Cordelia ran as quickly as she could. “Misty, wait,” she said as she grabbed her by her arm. 

“What?” she asked, “What could you possibly have to say?”

“I—” Cordelia fell silent. Misty’s eyes shone with a fury she had never seen before. Her heart thumped in her chest. “I made a mistake not going after you the first time,” she said, her voice almost drowned out by the rain. “Misty-” she said, tears stinging in her eyes, she raised her hand, cupping Misty’s cheek, “please,” lifting herself to her toes, she touched her forehead against Misty’s. “Don’t go, I’m sorry- I’m so sorry, I can’t let you go again, I can’t make that same mistake again.”

Misty loosely grasped Cordelia’s hand, thumb brushing over her palm. Her shoulders heaved as she cried. “I don’t know what to do anymore,”

“We’ll work it out, I promise you,” Cordelia pleaded. She tugged Misty down slightly. “Stay with me,  _ please _ .”

“But  _ how _ ?” 

Cordelia looked up, wordlessly seeking Misty’s approval before tugging her down, lips brushing against hers in a kiss so fierce and desperate and forthright, it sent chills down her entire body. Cordelia wrapped her arms around Misty and pulled her close, unbothered with the fact that the both of them were entirely soaked by now. “We’ll find a way,” she said, “together.”

Misty gave a small nod. She rested her head onto Cordelia’s shoulder, quietly sobbing. “I love you so much,” she whispered.

“I love you too,” Cordelia replied softly, hand clutching on to the back of Misty’s head. “It’s going to be okay,” she muttered, “we will be okay. I promise”

  
  


Sunlight trickles through the blinds, gently drawing Cordelia from her slumber. Her hand instinctively reaches next to her, but her hand hesitantly hovers in the air above Misty. Memories of the night before flood her mind, how Misty had kissed her, made love to her, how she had held her close, whispering loving words and eternal promises. Her heart flutters happily in her chest as she lets out a content sigh. She takes just one moment to enjoy the sight of a sleeping Misty beside her, the warmth of her body nestled against her own, the way her leg is hooked around her own and how her arms loosely cling on to her waist. She takes just one moment to really appreciate something that a little over a year ago, she had begun to take for granted.

It is then that she drops her hand, fingers trailing over Misty’s bare back, their age old morning ritual, and Misty just smiles. Sleepily kisses her forehead, her nose, her lips and murmurs out a quiet  _ I’m up. _

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> come say hi on twitter @rroanokes and thank u for reading


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